Drunk, Dyed, and Clearly Labeled
by Wolfish Oro
Summary: Misao and Kaoru have been plotting again... AU, modern day. Happy Saint Patrick's Day, everyone!


Drunk, Dyed, and Clearly Labeled

A/N: This fiction is Alternate Universe, and it takes place while the Kenshingumi are in college. Please keep in mind that Wolfish Oro does NOT own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, she just wishes she did. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Kaoru and Misao were giggling. Aoshi watched the two warily- something was up, and a quick glance at Kenshin told him that Kenshin was suspicious, too. Their giggles meant that something had been plotted, and that generally did not bode well for the health of nearby humans... Well, Kaoru's wicked chortles did, anyway.

Misao was almost always laughing at something.

The girls held open the door to the apartment they shared, ushering Kenshin and Aoshi in with mischievious smiles. The two then shut the door and led their men into the living room, where there was an already prepared meal set out. Kenshin looked at the girls uneasily.

"Did you make this, Kaoru?" At Kenshin's question, Kaoru nodded proudly.

"Misao helped, though," she responded. Kenshin and Aoshi relaxed.

'So we won't be poisoned tonight', the guys thought as they watched Misao and Kaoru get drinks for everyone.

ORO

"Sorry, guys, Sano was here yesterday and 'restocked' our fridge- this is all we've got to drink." Kaoru looked appropriately chagrinned as she set the beers down on the table. They were having chili, and they would need drinks...

Misao winked at Kaoru as she sat down, grabbing a bottle and a bowl. The trickiest part would be getting the guys drunk, Kenshin didn't usually drink, but Aoshi made a point not to- the poor guy had NO alcohol tolerance.

They had, however, experimented to perfect their super-spicy chili recipe on Sano, thus the overwhelming amount of beer in their fridge, and seeing how it would be rude of them not to eat at least a serving (and that they would need a loooooooong drink after every bite), Kenshin and Aoshi didn't really have a choice, after all. About getting drunk, anyway.

Predictably, the two tried valiantly not to reach for the beer bottles as soon as they took a bite, but after watching Aoshi turn a purplish color and Kenshin flame as red as his hair, Misao and Kaoru pushed the drinks toward them, murmurring sympathetically abut the chili being mildy hot. Aoshi managed to only take two long swallows, but Kenshin nearly drained the entire bottle, much to the girls' amusement. Then Kenshin tried shovelling a bunch in his mouth before swallowing quickly, only to find that made it worse, and motioned so to Aoshi as he accepted Kaoru's offer of another beer.

ORO

Kenshin managed to finish his bowl before Aoshi did, but before he could say that he was really, quite stuffed, Misao had bounced up to get him another bowlful. Kenshin, at this point more than slightly tipsy, turned to look over at Aoshi, who was completely, totally, drunk-as-a-skunk wasted.

"Hey, Kenshin, you need another drink?" Misao shouted this from the other room, and Kaoru looked thoughtfully at Kenshin's beer bottle, and then at Aoshi's.

"Yeah, they both need drinks, weasel. Can you get them, or should I?" Kaoru's call was met by a 'no, no, I've got it,' from the kitchen, and Kenshin hiccuped beside her.

"Hey, Kaoru," Kenshin slurred, "Whaat'ere ya laughin' hic at earlier?" Kaoru shot him a curious and innocent look that, even in his state of intoxication, had the hairs standing on the back of his neck.

"When? I don't remember laughing at anything," she said sweetly.

"You an' M'sao were lau'in' at somethin' when Kehic Kenhic Kenshin an' I gitted 'ere," Aoshi somehow managed to keep sitting up long enough to take the drink from Misao, drink it all in one gulp, and then pass out. Kenshin laughed, forgetting that he had chili in his mouth and remembering only when his nose started burning and DAMN that hurt so he yelped and tried drinking down the beers Kaoru pushed into his hand. When that didn't work, he ran (stumbled quickyly, actually, but whatever) into the kitchen, grabbed an icecube, and shoved it up his nose, dispite Kaoru's frantic warnings not to.

'Aaaah. M'ch better...' His mind was seriously clouded at this point, and he tried to remember how many beers he'd gulped down within the last two minutes.

'Three...? Five? Maybe five...' Then the sheer amount of alcohol in his blood hit, and he, like Aoshi, keeled over.

ORO

"Are you sure the stuff you put in their beer won't hurt them?" Kaoru asked for what had to be the hudredth time. Misao rolled her eyes.

"Of course I am, now, on the count of three, heave. Ready? THREE!" The two grunted as they hauled Aoshi onto a chair propped up against the kitchen sink.

"Jeez, any heavier and we'd need Sano to help," Kaoru muttered. "Do we need to do anything before we put the dye in? And are you completely sure it's not permanant?"

"We need to wet his hair, and then rub this stuff in it," Misao said, scanning the directions. "And it says it washes out in about a week's worth of washings, so I give it two days." Kaoru nodded.

"Are you going to need help, or should I proceed as planned with Kenshin?" Misao sprayed Aoshi with the bendy-faucet-attachment, wetting both his shirt, his hair, and herself. "How valiantly he shall dye by my hand," Misao quipped. "Go attack Kenshin with that tattoo kit you got. And get the shirts out, will ya?"

"On it!" Kaoru chirped as she took stock of her body art kit. "Green rose over the scar, or shamrocks? Ooh, or a dancing leprechaun?" Misao looked over at the said tattoos, and looked skeptically at the leprechaun.

"NOT the leprechaun, it looks like it could be Kenshin's long-lost cousin. Otherwise, do what you want."

"Remember to leave enough dye for us to streak our hair, Misao," Kaoru said offhandedly as she started to apply tattoos to Kenshin's face, neck, and upper arms.

"No problem-o. Wait just a moment, and we can do it while we wait for Aoshi to dye and Kenshin to dry."

ORO

"You really do make a cute leprechaun, Misao. Perect height and everything," Kaoru giggled. They had rinsed out Aoshi's hair and towel dried it before going to rinse out their own hair, their new green streaks a vivid reminder of tomorrow's (today's, Kaoru ammended, looking at the clock) festivities.

"It's a pity the color would clash with Kenshin's hair," Misao grinned. "He would make a really good leprechaun..." Kaoru nodded in agreement as she carefully pulled Kenshin's new shirt over his head, trying not to mess up the tattoos.

"Okay, we'll set up the video camera, take a bunch of pictures, and skidaddle over to Megumi's before they wake up," Kaoru decided as they dragged Aoshi and Kenshin over to the couch. Misao pulled out a disposable camera, and used up the whole thing on taking pictures while Kaoru put a little camera up on a shelf, angling it to look down at the unconsious men. Misao's ninja pwoder would be wearing off soon, and she had somehow managed to put in some magic anti-hangover stuff that she swore by. A few quickly applied strips of duct tape assured the camera's safety, and Kaoru jotted down a quick note for the boys and left it on the coffee table beside the couch. She looked over at Misao, who grinned widely, and the two exited the apartment quickly to head to Megumi's, stopping only to drop off the camera at an all-night convenance store to have the film developed.

ORO

Kenshin woke with a groan. His head hurt slightly, and he felt mildly suprised at that, with the amount he'd drank last night, he'd expected a much worse headache. He couldn't see or hear Kaoru or Misao, nor could he remember what happened last night past snorting chili. He glanced over at Aoshi, snoring loudly beside him, and did a double take.

'What the hell...? When did Aoshi's hair turn green?' Kenshin, concerned that his friend had contarcted some odd illness from last night's chili, reached over and nudged his friend awake.

"Aoshi? Are you okay?" Aoshi blinked blearily, and then twice more, rapidly.

"What the hell happened to you?" Aoshi demanded.

ORO

Aoshi felt someone prodding him awake. He was vaguely aware of a lumpy couch beneath him, then he was blinking at Kenshin...

But since when did Kenshin have a green rose instead of a cross shaped scar on his face?

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked, shocked. Kenshin looked confused, and replied,

"What I want to know is what happened to you. Your hair is not normally that color..." Hair? Why was Kenshin going on about his hair? Aoshi looked at the bangs falling into his face... And one word came to mind.

"Misao...! When I get my hands on that girl..." Aoshi growled and shot to his feet, pulling Kenshin into the bathroom with him so they could both look in the mirror.

Aoshi gaped at his new green hair and 'I'm Seeing Green!' shirt, and Kenshin was checking out the tattoos on his face. Aoshi tugged at deep emerald bangs, plotting darkly. Kenshin looked much more amused as he studied the green rose on his cheek and the artful windfall of shamrocks from just above the opposite eyebrow to half an inch below his eye. Aoshi whirled out into the living room again, calling for Misao, and Kenshin followed, rolling up one sleeve of his "Kiss Me I'm Irish!" shirt to look at the celtic knot that circled his upper arm. By the time Kenshin reached the living room, Aoshi was already searching the rest of the apartment.

Something green and sparkly caught Kenshin's eye, and he turned to see an envelope matching the previously noted description. In Kaoru's half-elegant chiken scratch, 'For Kenshin and Aoshi' was scrawled on the green paper.

"Aoshi, c'mere a minute!" Kenshin opened the envelope and read the letter before mutely passing it to Aoshi, who, handed it back and stormed over to the door, opened it and was halfway to the car they'd used to drive over to Kaoru and Misao's apartment yesterday by the time Kenshin reached the stairs to walk down to the car. Since he had the keys, Aoshi couldn't really do anything but wait until Kenshin got to the car.

Kenshin snickered as he remembered Kaoru's letter.

Hey guys!

Misao and I are at Megumi's she's having an all-day party for Saint Patrick's Day.

Hope you enjoy your new look, both of you!

(insert shamrocks here) Kaoru

She'd even put a little leprechaun on the note, Kenshin recalled with a grin. Aoshi was still muttering darkly under his breath, and Kenshin's grin grew decidedly wicked.

"Aoshi, what's with the bad mood?" Aoshi's look clearly said 'if looks could kill you'd be six feet under'.

"Now, now, there's no need to be mad. After all, think of what day is a mere two weeks from now..." Aoshi's eyes widened, and then he, too, started to grin.

"As a wise man once said, revenge is a dish best served cold," Kenshin laughed. "Two weeks is plenty of time to plan, Aoshi." 


End file.
